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Joyce's Journey

  Not My Plan



The MAN in Manchester By the Sea

Posted on January 16, 2017 at 1:05 PM

The Movie Manchester By the Sea intrigued me. Hopefully, it would be an interesting “chick flick”. Since my husband was on a business trip, I went by myself.


The opening scene began with a group of adult men playing pool, swearing and drunk. Disappointed again.  Why can’t a movie be told without fowl language? Doesn’t anyone know how to tell a story without four letter words flying out of their mouths? I grabbed my coat on to leave the theater, but I stayed. Maybe I could find a heartfelt character in this story.


The main character was a grieving father who lost his two children in a house fire.

Throughout the movie, this broken man battled between his alcohol addiction and the despair of losing his precious children. His wife divorced him. His uncontrollable behavior and his addiction excavated into financial loss. Instead of searching for help, he withdraws from everyone except his best friend and brother. His relentless brother understands his pain although any help goes unacknowledged. Unexpectedly, his dependable brother dies of a heart attack. Another loss. More pain. Deeper heartache. To his dismay, his brother’s attorneys informs him that he is the sole guardian for his brother’s fifteen year old son. How could he raise a teenager when he couldn’t overcome his own demons?


At this moment, being the romantic optimist, I wanted this father to get help. Please move on. Please forgive yourself and overcome your demons. Stop this self-destruction. I was rooting for him. Suddenly, I started reflecting on my past encounter of friends, bosses, and relatives who also had similar problems. Many of them were still struggling. The answer seems simple, just stop the destruction. However, the episodes of addiction expands over months, months and decades. Then, it is a habit. It is apart of the addicts existence. . It is their identify.


God tells us to focus on where we see love, grace and his truth. God reminds us to, ”Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” 1 Peter 5:8 Is it easy? No. It will be hard. It will take time. But, when we accept our faults and ask God for forgiveness, things change. God is ready to help us walk through the valley of despair and heal us. You can do it! But not alone. We need God. We have a loving heavenly father who sent his son to save us from our self-destruction. We are over-comers through him.


Jesus said, “It is finished”. He has overcome the destruction of sin. Forgive yourself. Keep searching for his truth. He loves you no matter what has happened. He cares.


Lesson Learned:

When we acknowledge God, he will show us how to live victorious without guilt, shame and fear. The fruit of his spirit is joy, peace, love and self-control. Live free.

Joyce Yexley, Author



Categories: Hope, Parenting, Faith & Blessings